meaning refound

When I was in Waco last week, I sat down to right this post. However, I couldn't get it to sound right, so I left it for a week. Now, here I am in Amarillo on a cold, icy day trying to finish what I started. This post comes, as most things have recently in my life, from Kyle. If you go to UBC, you know what I am going to write about and I'm sorry that you are tired of hearing the phrase that you know so well. However, for those of you that are part of the "transient crowd" at Baylor (i.e. the people who come in and out of Baylor in four to six years), you will appreciate this post. Repetition and liturgy often suck the life out of things for me, I'm sure many of you would agree, but when repetition or liturgy is gone you miss its significance.

I love surprises, and I love to surprise the ones I love. So, unbeknownst to everyone at UBC, except a handful of people, I came to Waco last week to enjoy some time with my good friends. Coincidentally, the Christmas announcements at UBC were the day after I arrived. Half the people at UBC didn't know who I was, but they cheered and clapped as Singleton brought out "Harry B...all the way from the left coast in Pasadena, California." For the other half of the congregation, my walking out on stage was a jubilant surprise. I rang my bell, as I have done the past four years, as Tye and Ben sang the announcements to Christmas songs. I wrang it well.

In my absence, I knew that I missed UBC, but being back in the candle lit sanctuary and worshiping with everyone made me realize how much I miss it. The Crowder Band, Gideon, and contemplative videos brought me to tears. I could not stop them rolling down my cheeks.

As we stood at the end of the service, I actually said the benediction with everyone, something I did not do after Kyle died: "As we approach this week, may we love God, embrace beauty, and live life to the fullest. Amen." When I left UBC, this phrase was trite and almost cliche. However, as it rolled off my lips last week, it had meaning and significance for me. This phrase encapsulates my entire Baylor/UBC experience. If I had to describe my life in Waco, this would be the phrase. And I can only say this because I am not surrounded by its words. For some of my friends, this phrase has become an "amen" or something said at the end of a service to signify that the service is over and now they can leave. This is heart breaking.

I hope this holiday season that you can take time to slow down and realize the significance of the mundane and everyday activities in your life. You know, the things that surround you so much that you forget they are there. For me this has been Kyle's benediction. What is it for you? You can rediscover its meaning. peace