brokenness or you don't have to go it alone (part 2) or contingency at its best
Brokenness is self-doubt. Brokenness is having both of your parents dead by age eighteen. Brokenness is depression. Brokenness is addiction. Brokenness is wanting what you cannot have. Brokenness is life. Brokenness is bad relationships. Brokenness is who we are as human beings. Brokenness is.
Seminary has been great and extremely tough. Constant study slowly wears on you, and you come to realize some things about yourself that you never knew were there. I was talking to a friend the other night and told her that I have see more brokenness here in Pasadena and at Fuller than anywhere else I have been. I could not in the beginning take in all of this brokenness. Everywhere I looked there it was staring me in the face: either looking back at me in the mirror or in the eyes of friends sitting across from me. I am coming to terms with it, but it is difficult. None of us like admitting that we are broken, that we do not have it all together, and that we need each other.
However, all is not dismal. We do have each other to remind ourselves that we are contingent upon something other than ourselves. So you may ask why and wonder why about all of the brokenness and abandonment in our world. You can curse God, yourself, friends, family, etc. But it all comes back to contingency. We rely on each other in order to get through life. We rely on God to give us life, creativity, friends, beauty, you name it in each moment of our day. We cannot go it alone, and thank God we don't have to. Thus, together we build hope. We point to hope. We embrace our suffering, our contingency, and we embrace each other because of it. We have hope.
Hope is laughter. Hope is a strong hug. Hope is a job well done. Hope is going to breakfast and meeting two beautiful homeless people. Hope is buying those two people breakfast and having one of them look your friend in the eye and say, "I love you. You know that?" Hope is tears shed with a group of new, close friends. Hope is who we are as human beings. Hope is, even when we do not see the light ahead showing us the way.
Brokenness and hope seem to be the antithesis of one another, but look at yourself, your spouse, your kids, your friends, etc. and you will see both at the same time. Perhaps we are broken because we hope and hope because we are broken. Whatever the reason, thank God we have each other. peace
Seminary has been great and extremely tough. Constant study slowly wears on you, and you come to realize some things about yourself that you never knew were there. I was talking to a friend the other night and told her that I have see more brokenness here in Pasadena and at Fuller than anywhere else I have been. I could not in the beginning take in all of this brokenness. Everywhere I looked there it was staring me in the face: either looking back at me in the mirror or in the eyes of friends sitting across from me. I am coming to terms with it, but it is difficult. None of us like admitting that we are broken, that we do not have it all together, and that we need each other.
However, all is not dismal. We do have each other to remind ourselves that we are contingent upon something other than ourselves. So you may ask why and wonder why about all of the brokenness and abandonment in our world. You can curse God, yourself, friends, family, etc. But it all comes back to contingency. We rely on each other in order to get through life. We rely on God to give us life, creativity, friends, beauty, you name it in each moment of our day. We cannot go it alone, and thank God we don't have to. Thus, together we build hope. We point to hope. We embrace our suffering, our contingency, and we embrace each other because of it. We have hope.
Hope is laughter. Hope is a strong hug. Hope is a job well done. Hope is going to breakfast and meeting two beautiful homeless people. Hope is buying those two people breakfast and having one of them look your friend in the eye and say, "I love you. You know that?" Hope is tears shed with a group of new, close friends. Hope is who we are as human beings. Hope is, even when we do not see the light ahead showing us the way.
Brokenness and hope seem to be the antithesis of one another, but look at yourself, your spouse, your kids, your friends, etc. and you will see both at the same time. Perhaps we are broken because we hope and hope because we are broken. Whatever the reason, thank God we have each other. peace
Comments
We all love and miss you, Harris. Waco isn't the same.
Brokenness feeds hope.